Holsteins Zero, In N Out Won

Burger joints have been popping up across the country as if there’s an epidemic of meat-hungry Americans needing a beef fix, ASAP! Vegas has its own plethora of burger joints all-around town that are competing to win over locals’ stomachs. Las Vegas offers up restaurants brought to you by America’s finest gourmet chefs such as BLT Burger by Chef Laurent Tourondel at the Mirage and the Burger Bar by Chef Hubert Keller at Mandalay Bay. Then, we have the good ol’, simple-as-they-come burger joints that pride themselves in what the beef has to offer. From In-N-Out and Fatburger to Five Guys and Fuku burger, the local burger food truck. No matter what corner of Las Vegas you end up on, there’s a burger palace up for the adventurous appetite.

At The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas, the newest Las Vegas Strip Hotel & Casino, Holsteins Shakes & Buns is what they have to bring to the table for our beef-eating, patty-lovers. They bring us their “Bad-ass burgers and milkshakes that we won’t find anywhere else in Las Vegas (or in the world for that matter!)”

Walking into the restaurant, we were greeted by the infamous pink cow branded with “HOLSTEINS” on the side. It just screams BEEF right when you walk into the door.

They offer a nice array of “Bam-Boozled Shakes” for the 21+, such as the Strawberry Shortcake: cheesecake chunks, graham crumble, strawberry swirl, and Absolut vanilla vodka and the Oreo Milkshake: Oreo Cookies and Bailey’s Irish Cream. They surprised me with an amazing selection of 12 “Big Buns” choices from the Classic to the Korean ‘Bull’Gogi featuring marinated beef, fried egg, kimchee slaw, and a chili mayo. For an extra $1 or $2, you can add their “One Dollar Cheese” or their “Two Dollar Cheese,” clever huh? They also have toppings from a fried egg for an extra $1 all the way to lobster meat or Foie Gras Torchon for $7 each. Holsteins also provides “Snacks” and “Tiny Buns” as their appetizers and sliders.

Appetizer: Southern-Fried Chicken Fingers-N-Waffles (w Maple Syrup and Ranch Dressing), Daughter: Virgin Oreo Milkshake, Kids Grilled Cheese & Shoestring Fries, and Me: Plain Iced Tea and the Hen House Burger (medium)

As excited as I was to try Holsteins, the faster I was let down.

Southern Fried Chicken Fingers & Waffles: First off, they never came. Well at least before our entrees showed up, as I asked. The runner showed up at our table with our burger and grilled cheese. The look on my face was priceless and then our server, Alicia, comes scurrying behind with our chicken fingers. She apologized because the kitchen never saw our appetizer ticket until after our entrees. Now, I have all my food on my table at the same time. What do I eat first? Which item should I endure cold, the chicken fingers or the burger? This is definitely a decision one should never have to make. Needless to say, I had the chicken fingers and waffles first. It probably didn’t matter if I had it after the burger because I’m sure it would’ve been as uneventful either way. The taste of fried, previously frozen, chicken fingers with a ranch dressing that tasted too much like blue cheese dressing was not worth the $11. Ever heard of Raising Canes? Cheaper and taste way better!

The Burger: The Hen House (Beef, a fried egg, smoked bacon, lettuce tomato, mustard and ketchup) on a whole wheat bun served w/ steak cut fries…At first look, this burger was going to make my lunch worthwhile. Juicy, vibrant, and had the sweetest smell! Upon tasting it, it was another world. First off, the bun was way, too dry. When I took a bite of it, all it tasted of was grease, mustard, and ketchup. So then I gave it another go but this time just took a taste of the beef patty. I ordered it to be cooked to medium. Either it was because I had my chicken fingers first or because it was just left under the heat lamp (hence my bun felt like it was toasted) but the patty was cold and worst off, tasteless. Tasted of dry, cold, ground meat. I have had way better burgers at In-N-Out and it wasn’t even “Animal-Style.” Over to the fries…steakcut!? Aren’t these called wedges? And in this day and age of burger frenzy, why wouldn’t you make fresh steak cut fries? Is our economy that bad that we have to use frozen fries?

Do you really want me to continue onto my daughter’s order? Let’s just say that the Virgin Oreo Milkshake was the best thing she ordered. The grilled cheese was cold, flavorless cheddar cheese and once again, from frozen, shoestring fries.I don’t care how crisp you can get them but a frozen fry is a frozen fry, you can’t mask it. Now there are plenty of places that sell frozen fries, McDonald’s & Burger King, but when you sell fries for $5 as a side order, you’ve got to do better than frozen!

There’s a definite reason this place doesn’t have the word ‘burgers’ in its name but I really feel they should change it up to…”Holsteins Shakes, PERIOD”

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